Fruit kills

They say fruit is good for you, but I was almost killed by an errant strawberry yesterday. I was in the lunchroom getting all the lunches fixed, when a strawberry came out of nowhere! It was left from morning snack, but I'm pretty sure it hid behind a table leg and waited for me. I stepped on the strawberry, slipped and fell. But it wasn't one of those uneventful little plops onto the floor - oh no. It was a grandiose spectacle. A debacle of comic proportions! My feet flew out from under me and I hit the floor, knee first. On the way down, my left elbow went right into a pudding cup - chocolate pudding went everywhere. My right hand hit a bowl of macaroni and cheese - the Chef Boy'R Dee kind with all the liquid, not the good homemade kind that stays in one big, cheesy clump - and macaroni went flying. I lay there for just a minute, contemplating how much damage I had done to myself. My first thought was that I was going to have to go to the doctor. My knee was in excruciating pain. My second - almost immediate - thought was that I hadn't shaved my legs since Saturday, so how embarrassing was that going to be? The good news is that I got up and was able to walk and bend my leg and all that good stuff. I cleaned up the mess, served lunch to 30 kids, and made it through the day with ice packs and ibuprofen. It's one day later and I feel better, even though my knee looks disgusting - people actually wince when they see it. But as Dr. C told me, it's all soft tissue damage, so it will be sore for several days, then heal up nicely.

So nice try, strawberry, but I won this battle. And next time someone tries to tell you to eat more fruit, remember ... fruit is evil.

Phone Rage

So this post has nothing to do with eating healthy, but I feel compelled to get this off my chest, so here goes. This morning I was talking with Little Mrs. Domestic about how
insane I get when I can't hear someone on the phone. Just a few hours later I had a very frustrating conversation with someone an their cell phone and I got so mad I just about threw my phone out the window. Seriously, I get so incensed it's worse than road rage. It happens most frequently with my hubby, C-man. We have direct connect phones, so we bleepy each other when we need to talk, and the signal is not always great. So sometimes his voice comes out sounding something like R2D2 and I can't understand a word of it. Intellectually I know this is not his fault. I know he's not even aware his voice is so garbled, and I can't even break in to tell him, because on the direct connect, when one party is talking, the other cannot. So instead of laughing it off and waiting patiently for him to finish, I get FURIOUS, OUTRAGED, and act like a total idiot. Usually in front of my kids. Nice, eh? Also maddening for me is when I try to call him and I have a signal but he doesn't. Again, not his fault. But still, I think if I were dumb enough to carry a gun I might end up shooting my phone. This would get expensive, plus I most likely would end up blowing my foot off, so the gun option is out of the question. What I usually end up doing is freaking out for a minute, then I realize how stupid I sound, and calm down. If only I were a drinker I'd probably down a shot of something before hitting the redial button.

So why, if I know I do it and I know it's idiotic, why do I allow myself to get so irritated? I just don't know. And I continue to use my cell phone, too. Mark my words, if (God forbid) I ever have a heart attack, I will be found with my cell phone clutched in my hand. The bad reception will put me over the edge. Of course if I can just continue on with the healthy foods, I may not be a prime candidate for a heart attack, so perhaps that can be my motivation. I am having grilled chicken for my Mother's Day dinner tonight. It's been marinating all afternoon. I'm also marinating some awesome vegetable kabobs and I can't wait to sit down and enjoy it all. Maybe I'll shut off my cell phone...

Weekend Eating Extravaganza

Weekends are hard for those of us trying to eat better. At least they are for me. When I'm at work I'm moving around more, more people around to see when and what I eat, plus there's just not a lot of food around at work. But at home ... food, food, and more food!! I'm trying not to go to WalMart until Sunday evening, so there's not so much food in the house all weekend. But weekends involve a lot of food-oriented activities, have you noticed that? This weekend I have a graduation party to attend - KS's, not mine - and you know there will be food there. Tomorrow morning we have the bake sale after church (as an aside, there WILL be cake pops there. Now, I am not a big sweets person, but there cake pops are amazing. They are without a doubt one of my favorite sweets EVER. Click here to read Little Mrs. Domestic's blog about being a cake pop making fool. You'll be glad you did.). And of course, tomorrow is Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there!! And our tradition is that we go out to lunch or dinner - so I don't have to cook or clean, of course. I think this year I am going make the request that we grill out here at the house. I'm thinking a whole chicken, cut up, seasoned, and cooked on the grill. I'm also thinking grilled veggies that have been marinated in some yummy homemade dressing. And maybe some sweet potatoes.... Mmmmmmm, sweet potatoes..... Great. Now I'm hungry. And as is my problem, I want this meal NOW. I really have a hard time waiting when I get a certain food in my mind - I'm all about the instant gratification. But I'm going to wait, if nothing else than to avoid the all-you-can-eat Chinese food buffet tomorrow. So, if I can stick to my guns and have the cook out tomorrow, it should be good. Very good and healthy, too!! And if I can just make it through a weekend without losing my mind and eating everything in my cupboard, I might just beat out TT in the Pray 'n Weigh. Now THAT would be a good week!

I'm thinkin' Arby's...

So today was not a great day for me, foodwise. At lunch I said, "I'm thinkin' Arby's!" and now after dinner, I'm thinkin' ... I'm a great big lard butt. Okay, so it's not really that bad. I did weigh in for the Pray 'n Weigh contest this morning, and I've lost a half a pound. Not great, but when it's that time of month, I'll take anything!! Of course, TT, whose willpower is AWESOME and INSPIRING lost a pound and a half, so now I'm really wanting to do better. You can tell how motivated I am by the choice of sandwich and curly fries instead of getting their delicious Nantucket salad. Oh, my, is that ever good! It has cranberries and nuts and stuff in it - yummy! Well, maybe next time...

Shifting Fat

My body fat is on the move. I'm not really sure why it's moving, or even how, but it's definitely shifting. I've been trying on some clothes - apparently I'm a glutton for punishment - and have noticed that while my pants are fitting surprisingly well, my tops are now all too small. My jeans are falling off my behind - yay!! - and my tops are bulging at the buttons - ugh. Why would fat want to go to my back? It hardly ever gets rubbed, so why does it want to be there? And just the thought of back fat ... yuck! I'm going to be one of those women with the back cleavage, otherwise known as the back ass. I'm thinking push ups will help - they tone up your shoulders and abs and back quite nicely. Of course, thinking about push ups and actually doing them are two different things - one of which works quite well, and the other ... not so much.

On a lighter note, I did go running last night! Not really on purpose - those of you who caught my post about exercising will know that. No, both of my kids had ball games last night. Same time, two different fields. Plus, I ran into a kid from church who was playing, too, so I was running from one side to the other all night. The theory was to stand in between the two fields and watch both games at the same time. But of course, HRV couldn't find her cap, so I ran to that dugout. Then C-man wasn't paying attention, so I ran to the other dugout to tell him to come watch his daughter bat. Then she was safe at home plate so I ran to the other dugout to give WMV a pep talk. I ran to pay for the team drinks, I ran to hear HRV's coach give out the team ball, ran back to WMV's field, ran to watch the church boy hit an in-the-park home run, and I ran and I ran and I ran. If I could do this every day I'd have it made!! I was pooped by the time we got home, but I felt good, and hopefully some of this running around will show up on the scale. Or in the back fat.

The truth about tofu dogs

Who do the makers of tofu dogs think they're fooling? Just because it's shaped like a hot dog doesn't mean it's going to taste like a hot dog. Now, I like tofu, I really do. I put it in stuff I'm eating all the time - always have. I also love hot dogs. I mean, I love hot dogs. I've even dated a hot dog vendor - cute guy, sold hot dogs on the street corner up in Maine. There's something we don't have in the south - street dogs. I miss being able to walk a block or two and get a dog with the works. Don't miss the guy I dated, though. Good hot dogs, bad boyfriend. Boothbay Harbor has some excellent street dogs, though. So does New York, so long as you know which ones are good. Some of those guys ... I'm not even sure what kind of meat they're selling. My favorite hot dogs come in a steamed frankfurter bun. Not a hot dog roll - there's a difference. Again, it's a north/south thing. The frankfurter bun is slit into the top, not on the side. Much better for holding the mustard, onions, sauerkraut and the like. Plus, the bread is softer - kind of like Bunny bread. Another thing Maine has is the bright red hot dogs. Come to think of it, I also dated a guy who sold the red ones. He sold them at his father's ice cream store... He used to give them to me for free and we'd hang out selling ice cream and eating red hot dogs. There's just something about the red ones ... they snap and pop when you bite into them. Mmmmm. They'll stain everything you touch, though. You didn't know I was such a hot dog connoisseur, did you? It runs in my family - my grandfather had a hot dog cookbook - an entire book devoted to meals you could make with hot dogs. When he died, it naturally came to me. And yes, I do know what they put in them - blood clots and hair and lips and ears and a**es and the like. I don't care, I really don't. Perhaps this is part of my problem - I don't care what's in a food so long as I like the taste of it. But I'm trying - here's where the tofu dogs come in.

I saw on a tv show - I think it was "The Biggest Loser" - a tip about getting soy via tofu dogs and burgers. So, I dutifully went out and bought tofu dogs. Even slathered with mustard and onions and relish, they don't taste anything like a hot dog! I'm thinking about suing for libel on behalf of the hot dog industry. Not that they don't taste good - I don't mind the taste at all. But it ain't hot dogs. I was thinking I might be able to slide one past my picky eater, but he's picky, he's not an idiot. I will keep eating the tofu dogs - they're SOOOOOO much healthier than a hot dog. But please, tofu guys, please don't insult my intelligence by calling them "dogs."

Some good friends, a good lunch

Some good friends who now live far away showed up unexpectedly today and we all went out for lunch after church. Mmmmmm, Mexican food! I didn't even attempt to eat healthy, but I did find that I was able to stop eating when the plate still had about half the food on it. AND, I saw one of the girls in our little "Pray 'n Weigh" contest at the same restaurant, so I'm curious to see what she had for lunch! The other woman at my table, Christy, also has a blog about eating and you have to read it - she is HILARIOUS. To visit her blog, click here: http://cceats.blogspot.com/. She ordered a taco salad, but of course it was like 85% meat and cheese, and 15% lettuce. So much for a nice, healthy salad!

Interestingly, I felt like nothing new had happened since they moved away several months ago. I felt kind of boring, actually. Although it was much harder to relax and enjoy a nice conversation because I had my two kids with me, and they were fighting and being goofy, as always. *Sigh* I do love my children, but it really can be hard when they're at each other's throats all day long.

But now I'm off track... I was talking about the Mexican food ... I did save quite a bit, most of which I just sat down and ate. Covered in hot sauce, of course! Now I'm ready for a nap, but I really should be cleaning up around the house. I really think if I could just focus on some housework instead of wishing for a nap I would feel so much better - you know, start the week off right. But no, instead I'm considering taking some Motrin for cramps and lying down for a nap. Gotta love it when hormones come into play! :) Maybe tomorrow I'll spring into action with more energy and better resolve!