The Well-Intentioned Saboteur

Warnings are often given to the dieter: watch out for those who will try to sabotage your diet! I always thought that was a bit silly - who would deliberately try to screw up a good, healthy thing? Then I realized - it's not deliberate, but it is sabotage for sure.

My husband is a sweet, wonderful, kind, and considerate man (okay, okay, it's the same guy in a previous post I threatened to rip his head off and shove flowers down his neck. That was a bad day...). Seriously, despite a few faults - and don't we all have a faults? - the C-man is a terrific husband. He often does nice things for me, which I love and appreciate. But sometimes... those nice little gestures are sabotage city!

Yesterday I was in the shower getting ready for church, thinking about the fellowship dinner that would follow the service. I was making plans to skip the 50 different pasta and potato salads and go right for the green salads. I came out of the shower and smelled it. Bacon. Oh my. But it's okay, the kids can have some bacon and I'll shut the bedroom door and get dressed. A good plan, eh? Too bad my husband greeted me with my very own plate of bacon and a fried egg along with buttered toast. Sigh. See, here it is - the sabotage. And yet, unintentional. So sweet, so kind and thoughtful, and yet... gulp... oh the fat and calories! But I ate it. I ate every bite. I know, I know, I've read the articles that say, "Tell your husband, 'Thank you, sweetie, I really appreciate your kindness, but I am going to stick to my diet and pass on this plate of food!'" Clearly this article was written by a single woman who keeps wondering why she's not married. I could have said something along those lines - I could have hurt C-man's feelings, felt guilty about it, then eaten twice as much as the guilt overcame me causing me to go an emotional roller coaster of an eating binge. Well, maybe it wouldn't have been that dramatic! But you see where I am going with this - when the C-man goes out of his way to do something nice for me, I respond by being gracious and accepting because I love him.

So where did I go wrong? I could have done a few things differently and still been gracious and kind. I could have eaten half of everything. I could have eaten only the egg then shared the bacon with the children - they would have loved it! And yes, I could have been mature and honest and told C-man that the plate of food he had just cooked was doing nothing for my self-control so please take it away! But again, I just can't help but show appreciation when he does something nice for me. Spineless? You betcha. Happily married? Oh, yeah.

So what can you do when that well-intentioned saboteur crosses your path? Try to identify the problem before it arrives - C-man hardly ever gets up before I do and therefore hardly ever cooks breakfast for me, so this caught be a bit unaware. But I know for next time to eat half the food, or skip the bacon - I have a plan. If your husband, mother, friend, co-worker repeatedly offers you food, dessert, drinks, etc., come up with your own plan to jump that hurdle. Handle it with humor, with grace, with a few good avoidance techniques - whatever works for you and your situation. But be as prepared as possible and when someone throws one at you unexpectedly - do your best and remember: tomorrow is another day.